Reflections on Jamaica

I would like to begin my following blog post with a quick thank you to the USD International Center. The amount of time and effort that goes into organizing and executing a successful study abroad program is immense. Your work does not go unappreciated. I would not be who I am today without the help of the International Center. Everyone who works there has contributed in their own way to helping me grow into the healthy, happy, and well-rounded person that I am thankful to be today.

         I was nervous— as most people are before embarking on a month-long journey into an unfamiliar place with strangers. Yet, after three weeks in a little beach villa with four other gals positioned near a neighboring villa where six of our male classmates lived, Jamaica had become home. And the eleven strangers I had never met formally at USD evolved into some of the best people I’d met at USD so far.

         Going into this intersession class I had to reassure myself that I would be okay.
It may not seem like something I’d have to do after having studied abroad twice before (for a cumulative period of an entire academic year). But this was different. I wasn’t going abroad to a place where no one knew anything about me or any of the other travelers. Actually, several people on the trip had gone on the trip with their best friends by their side. Luckily, I didn’t know that bit going in and surprisingly that didn’t inhibit any strong bonds from forming. The mantras I repeated to myself before leaving for Jamaica now seem trivial. Of course, they were important in dissuading any anxiety I had before leaving, but as I would find out over the several weeks I was there— I had nothing to be nervous about.

         I told myself not to worry about the possibility of not making friends— a worry I only had because of the lack-luster success I have had at developing the close friendships I’d hoped for since my first year at USD. I had considered transferring from USD after my first year there because I hadn’t made any close friends (or at least not as many close relationships as I had anticipated or no relationships that were deep to the point I desired). The lack of these relationships instilled a deep seeded belief that maybe the people at USD weren’t all my cup of tea. With a lot of work analyzing these feelings, I have come to understand where these beliefs have come from and over time, I have helped challenge these thoughts before allowing them to take control. Sometimes I still find myself reverting to these “me against the world” mindsets. Going into this trip to Jamaica, I was anxious about enjoying my time there. I loved my previous two semesters studying abroad— this time won’t be any different, were challenged by the resounding concerns: But this is studying abroad with USD students. It’ll be different. You’re not very good at making friends with people at USD.

         So, to comfort myself I’d make up a narrative I could rely on: Even if I don’t make friends, I can just focus on my writing. And I like being alone! Although I never vocalized these concerns to anyone, I felt them *ping* inside my brain every time I thought about leaving for Jamaica.

         For the most part I think I am an open-minded person. I am always approaching new people and situations with an open mind and heart. But I’m not perfect *gasp* and before this trip to Jamaica I found myself reverting to old stereotypes I’d developed throughout my tough first year at USD. I thought everyone I’d meet on this intersession class would be a stereotypical USD student whose life revolved around materialism and social hierarchies. But that’s the issue with stereotyping people— no one is as simple as we might make them out to be. Everyone comes from a complex background of experiences and to make assumptions based on previous interactions with other people of a certain group, regardless of the similarities they share (such as all attending the same university— USD), is unfair.

         Luckily, just a couple days around the people I had assumed would not be anything like me, I found myself feeling instead like I had finally found the USD students I had spent almost four years looking for. Even though the program ended about two weeks ago, I can say, with an honest conviction, that some of the people I met on the trip to Jamaica are some of the best people I have met in my four years at USD. Even now, as I write this, I’m sitting across from one of the friends I made on the trip.

         Delaney and I were first introduced on the ride from the airport to our villas. We asked how the rooms were divided up and how many people had already arrived.

         “Well you’re actually the last two to arrive so I guess you are roommates!” remarked one of the trip coordinators.

         We looked at each other and gave pursed smiles. We talked later that evening about how neither of us had roommates back at USD. We’d both had the privilege of always having our own space— we now shared a small bedroom with two twin beds that were positioned so closely together that we could have held hands across the small gap in the middle. Although I’m not one to be picky about where I’m living, especially if its only for a couple weeks, this room was small. Especially when compared to the other bedroom that was shared. It had two full-sized beds and enough room for two armoires and a shower that was the size of our entire bathroom. The last bedroom wasn’t shared so one of the gals (bless her heart) had a king-sized bed and a walk-in closet.

         Honestly, I’m thankful Delaney and I got there last. I’m glad we got the last choice of rooms— meaning we (each of us measuring about 5’10) got the stunted twin beds dawning pink comforters with cream-colored butterfly details. I think that without having been forced into such small quarters, there is a chance we wouldn’t have grown as close and comfortable with one another as we did. It’s funny seeing her on campus all the time now. Seeing someone you know quite well in an entirely different environment than what you’d come to know them in is a bit shocking. But our friendship has transcended borders and even though I think we would both say that we are very different people— we still have a friendship that is much more than what we wear (me: band t-shirts and metal chains) (her: Nike sweatpants and black bodysuits) and the kind of music we listen to (her: rap) (me: hard rock).

         My time in Jamaica made me feel a stronger sense of belonging at USD. Not only did my friendships transcend boundaries but my understanding of who I am and how I function within USD advanced as well. To anyone studying abroad for a short or long period of time, remember that you may be nervous. You may have predetermined inhibitions to the people or place. But the more you try and ignore those fears, the more likely you are to prove them wrong, and the better experience you will have.